White People

Check this out, it’s super funny!

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

Bike Practice

This seems much more appealing these days…

Watch the end, it’s the best part.

Duluth Classic = Success!

What a weekend! I would like to thank all the following people for their dedication, hard work, and patience, it could not have happened without you!

Jill, Orian, and Sue Muecke, John Matalamaki, Bart Rodberg, Mike Hall, Tim Hayes, Denis Sauve, Dave Plotnicki, Shawn Gort, Sean Peotter, Gordy and Rachel Nyenhuis, Lakewood Volunteer Fire Department, Laddie Stzork, June Sayers, Rita and Scott Walker, Jacki Carlson, Shirley Johnson, Jay Henderson, Brian Bich, Brian Hayden, Pat Susnik, Joe Schneiweiss, Kayla Cresap, Rosslyn Kendrik, Mark Lennon, Cheryl Goldberg, Peter and Paul Miner, Mark Coughlin, Cloquet Police Dept., St. Louis County Sheriff’s Dept., and the Carlton County Sheriff’s Dept.

Special thanks to Matt Anderson, Bruce Brasaemle, Bill Nicholson, Sean Peotter, David Thimsen, Jenn Moses, & Shirley Johnson for officiating.

Tree Down!

Our tree is gone now, no more branches on the house thank goodness. I looked at the stump and it was starting to rot in the middle. I think a strong wind might have taken it down.

Selling Crack

I’ve resorted to selling crack in our neighborhood to make ends meet.  If you need a slot for your tools, just stop by and I’ll give you some crack.

Toivo = 2 years old!

Happy birthday my boy!  Even though your birthday was multiple baths from yesterdays skunk spray, we still love you. 

- Mom & Dad

Mom’s Day - Random Crap

We had a good mother’s day this year. Jill’s mom came up from the cities to bring us our chair and help organize the house a bit. I called my mother and we all went out for dinner at the Brewhouse and chatted it up. I think that’s the first time Jill and I bought our parents dinner, woah.

I remember growing up as a young lad, having my parents make me earn whatever I wanted. As a responsible young adult, I got a job shortly after my 16th birthday as a dishwasher at Perkins. I learned how to spend money and make responsible decisions at a respectable age. I bought my first car at 17, with my own hard earned money! I had a great job working at the milk factory loading the empty bottles on a tray and running the machine that put the labels on them. Up until then, I rode the city bus from 6th grade on.

When 18 rolled around, 1 month after graduation, I moved out of the house and worked full time in Cloquet tarping flat bed semi trailers at the USG ceiling tile factory. I made good money so I was able to purchase more skiing equipment, inline skates, and a new truck. I quit after almost 2 years and went to UMD where I purchased my first bike with saved up cash. I had always wanted a road bike, just could never afford one. Twenty years old I rode 5500 miles that year and won 90% of the races I entered. State champ at my first USAC bike race ever!

So, what the heck is wrong with kids and parents now? Buying them anything they want, kids living at home into their 20’s? No wonder foreign countries are taking over our economy!

Parents, if your kid is over 20 and doesn’t have a job or doesn’t go to college, KICK THEM OUT, for their own good! Kids these days are starting to piss me off and it’s the parents that are doing it. It’s a rarity to get some tough kids that are willing to work hard and go outside their comfort zone, but you know who you are and I thank you.

In 11 years of coaching high school and junior high aged athletes, I’ve had the privilege of developing some fine athletes. So I’ve come up with a system of 5 types of athletes, which one are you?;

  • Practice Athletes - These guys/gals only like to win in practice. When it’s time to perform, they can’t make it happen no matter what you do or change in their workouts.
  • Lazy Practice/ Fast Performances - If only you could make these people work as hard as they do on race day, they could be so much better!
  • All Rounders - These are the best to coach, they work hard in practice, do well in meets and are consistent across the board. I would say only 5-10% of all athletes fit in this category.
  • Quitters and Backtalkers - These idiots are just as rare as all rounders. In my program, they either fit in one of the other cats or get the heck out. I don’t like to waste my time with these folks and they also tend to be losers in life too.  If it was 1985, they would have a fat lip and bloody nose.
  • Team Players - Athletes that are “just average” but have a great charisma and team bonding skills which make them vital to any team or organization. They are keepers of the peace and tend to be coach and swimmer liaisons. Also one of my favorite kinds.

Withrow TT = FATTIE

Why hasn’t someone told me I look this damn fat, holy crap! I’d give the whale mom a run for her money…geez.

photo c/o skinnyski.com

Lap 1, riding conservative with the tailwind. Passed by Cullen 5 miles in, dangit. Suffered in the headwind and the rolling hills.

Lap 2, starting to blow….blew in the headwind…reached a record 15 mph on one of the rollers. Kicked hard at the end but had nothing left.

Best parts of the TT.

  • No rain!
  • Smoother pavement than years past.
  • Awesome teammates!
  • A TT bike with gears (last year was fixed)
  • Sharing blonde jokes with Jordan Cullen at the bar!
  • New team kits.
  • Barb H. won a set of H3’s, good for her she deserves it more than anyone else.
  • Giving out “good games”.

Worst Parts of the TT.

  • Watching masters 35+ riders pass you.
  • “Hey Tone, I remember when you used to smoke everyone in TT’s.” - James Cullen
  • Headwind & small hills.
  • Riding 2 mins slower than last year.
  • Getting beat by cat 3’s.
  • Realizing that the Duluth Classic is only 2 weeks away.
  • Looking at my fat butt on the internet knowing that everyone in the world is laughing.
  • $70 in gas.

Man, I have a lot of work to do…

I heart Skibby!

Not much to post since I am super busy putting on this huge effing stage race…pardon my French.

Here are the highlights…

  • Denis Sauve is the shit.
  • Duluth rocks.
  • Hed Wheels are the Shiznit.
  • Hollywood is the MAN.
  • MNDOT is a PAIN in my arse.
  • Skibby keeps it real.
  • Cullen’s are the epitomy of cycling in MN.
  • Timmer is old.
  • Marty was windy.
  • Doug is the Amateur Superman.
  • BLEED SILVER.
  • I like bike racing.

Big Hills

There were some big hills to be climbed on the WNR. Record 17 people came out of the woodwork with skirts still on and smelling like their closet linens. We’ve decided to have try-outs for this ride…you need to ride with us for 3.5 hours when it’s 42 and raining first before you can come when it’s 72 sunny…j/k, LMFAO and we still love you.

People keep saying how EPIC races are going to be this weekend, they don’t know WTF epic is.

The Duluth Classic is going to be the only race that is remotely EPIC this season, I can’t wait to see groups shatter like glass in Jay Cooke, whoopie! Sorry, I’m not driving 400 miles and spending $200 over the weekend to get my fat butt dropped because there are too many cat 3 sandbaggers and skirt 35+ openers making the 1/2 pack dismal and dusty. If I lived down there it would be a different story.

All I have to do is 4K in August…I wonder what little Dick and team MOM are doing right now, good thing I have my new whale hunting shoes…it looks red but it’s actually BLAZE ORANGE.

Meat

Saw lots of these things today.

They need to be harvested, more than citizens think so…

Why? As animals, Deer are the #1 killer of moms in minivans in the US. READ THIS!

Ride Bikes

We rode bikes this week, it was fun!

  • MNR
  • SNR
  • TDR
  • WNR
  • Suntan win Tanlines
  • 400 miles, 26 hours

Wet Snow

We didn’t get a ton of snow as they expected, but holy crap is it windy!

We went down to the beach to check out the 10 foot waves.

You don’t get this in the 612 area code….

10-18 inches!

Blizzard conditions coming our way, this should be interesting…

I’m still going riding in the 40 mph winds, resistance training!

This is what I sing…

When I ride my bike…

Velodrama

From cyclingnews.com

(Click for larger image)

Following the lighting-quick times recorded at the world track championships in Manchester last week, scientists are looking into claims that a phenomena known as ley lines could have played a part in both those high speeds and the fantastic performance of the British team. Experts are looking into potential interaction between the mystical ley line and the stripes on the British team’s skinsuits as a speed enhancer.

Manchester just happens to lie in direct alignment with two important archaeological and spiritual sites which are located along a hypothetical ley line: Stonehenge and Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland. Some New Age theories propose that these lines resonate psychic or mystical energy, generating powerful electrical or magnetic forces.

“Skeptics try to play this down because they cannot explain it with science,” said longtime ley line expert Martyn Erlin to Cyclingnews on Monday. “They need to see to believe, they need to be able to measure and to quantify for something to exist. However there’s a huge amount of examples from the recent and distant history of this country to show that something inexplicable, unquantifiable yet wonderful is going on.”

Manchester has long been regarded as a fast track but the number of world records, track standards and personal bests broken during the recent championships led experts such as Mr M. Erlin to ponder if something more significant was taking place.

Erlin theorized that the triple stripes which adorn the British team’s skinsuits came into harmony with the ley lines when the riders got into their aero tucks, and it’s possible that the harmonic consonance between the parallel lines created a vacuum in front of the riders, creating less wind resistance and enhancing their speed.

Chris Hoy (Great Britain) took two victories
Photo ©: John Pierce
(Click for larger image)

“It’s early days yet but my belief is that the recent resurfacing in the velodrome is one of the reasons why we are now seeing a change to the energy patterns,” he said, a couple of hours after British Cycling officials escorted him off the premises and promised legal action. “We made some drillings prior to being interrupted and it seems that a very special type of pine was used for the new track surface. This is more porous to the energies than the previous covering.”

When questioned about the British men’s pursuit team, which wore the white UCI leader’s kit rather than the standard British team strip, Erlin revealed that the riders had worn special undershirts with the triple-stripe pattern, indicating that the team was fully aware of the interaction with the mythical ley lines.

In the past hour Cyclingnews has learned that this mystical home advantage is being investigated by both the UCI and the IOC, and that the outcome could have severe implications for the nine gold medals won. An official from the latter organisation, who spoke only on the condition of anonymity, said that the results of the races could be in doubt if it was shown that such forces were at work.

“In a time when everything is being done to limit banned performance enhancers, it would be hypocritical of us to accept anything that may have benefited from a boost. No matter what that boost is. We’ll be studying this very carefully and if it can be shown that anything peculiar was at work in Manchester, gold medals and world records may well be scrapped. Down with this sort of thing.”

Old Photo Dump

3crit.jpg 10000lakes.jpg adven_canoe.jpg adven_cookie.jpg inline.jpg birkie.jpg black2.jpg capeto1.jpg cx3.jpg homepage.jpg ic_crit_42003_7.jpg kyle2.jpg mem3.JPG mnpower.jpg nsim.jpg peterandtone.jpg r47.jpg ride1.jpg rochcx.jpg ryanjamietone2.jpg snake6.JPG snow2.jpg statecrit2.jpg statecx3.jpg tonepodium3.jpg I Beat Timmer! touchstoneenergy.jpg Y-Foil Hoyt Lakes solo Breakaway inline4.jpg Brewhouse Triathlon Denis & Carl Rick & I Tossed in the Pool Tanlines Cat 3 State Road Race Champion State CX State CX Birkie ‘98 Terry & I at NVGP

Archives Found!

Ah, I fired up my old college laptop today and thought it was going to blow up the dang thing is ancient! I found some archives in there, funny stuff!

This is from 2002.

3/9 3rd (fastest bike split), Pole, Pedal, and Pant Triathlon, Biwabik, MN
4/20 11th, Durand Road Race, Durand, WI
4/27 7th, Ken Woods Memorial Road Race, Sogn Valley, MN
5/9 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
5/18 2nd, Henderson Time Trial, Henderson, MN
5/19 2nd, Back to the Bricks Cycling Classic, Adel, IA
5/30 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
6/2 1st, Grand Old Days 8 km Inline Skate, St. Paul, MN
6/6 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
6/8 12th, Proctor Cycling Classic Road Race, Brimfield, IL
6/14 43rd, Nature Valley Grand Prix-Winona Road Race, Winona, MN
6/16 26th, Nature Valley Grand Prix-Stillwater Criterium, Stillwater, MN
6/14-6/16 34th in Omnium, Nature Valley Grand Prix, MN
6/20 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
6/22 2nd, Big Granite Inline Marathon, Ashland, WI
6/30 6th, Ketchum Criterium, Sun Valley, ID
7/6 9th, Redmond Derby Days Criterium, Redmond, WA
7/18 2nd, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
8/3 2nd, Grand View Firehouse 50 Road Race, Grand View, WI
8/22 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
8/25 1st, Cumberland Rutabaga Festival Road Race, Cumberland, WI
8/29 1st, Duluth Time Trial Series, Duluth, MN
9/14 18th Pro Division, 36th World Cup Div., North Shore Inline Marathon, Duluth, MN
9/21 3rd (2-person team), Adventure Duluth, Duluth, MN

Cyclocross

9/29 9th, Central Park CX, Superior, WI
10/5 4th, Des Moines Doublecross #2 CX, Des Moines, IA
10/19 4th, Pork Chop Challenge CX, St. Cloud, MN
10/26 3rd, Jacques Au Lanterne Rouge CX, Ham Lake, MN
11/4 7th, Rochester CX, Rochester, MN
11/10 6th, Minnesota State CX Championships, Crystal, MN

cx2.jpg

Greatest Training Video

Every Parent’s Nightmare

Normally I wouldn’t write about this, but since I’m a high school coach…

from the Associated Press

Woodbury Assistant Wrestling Coach Fired

An assistant wrestling coach at Woodbury High School who’s accused of offering beer to team members has been fired.

A search warrant affidavit alleges the 21-year-old coach arrived at the Crown Plaza Hotel in St. Paul on February 29th with a case of beer, accompanied by two high school-aged girls, and offered the alcohol to everyone in the room.

The assistant coach was the only person in the room of legal drinking age. He and the team were at the hotel for the state high school wrestling tournament.

Five wrestlers left the room and notified school officials the next morning.

The assistant coach has not been arrested or charged, but providing alcoholic beverages to anyone less than 21 years old is a gross misdemeanor.





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